Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
