How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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