i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
