ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
