sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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