So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
