Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
