Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
