i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
