When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
