giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
