I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
