he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
