haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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