I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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