I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think i have herpe
just one?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
