i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
