Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
