Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
