i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
