Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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