Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
