Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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