Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
