is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
