Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
