Where did you get a picture of my penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
