I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
