My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
