I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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