So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
