do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
