i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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