just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
