dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
