At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
