One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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