Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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