I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
