Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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