Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Randomize
