i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
