I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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