I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
