she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
