i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
