Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
