Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
