Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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