So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
