I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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