halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
